Honestly, it felt like you didn't want to draw her at all. Your character took up most of the picture and even covered half of Jade. It's also kinda rude to demand feedback on what's supposed to be a gift. In my 7 years on this site I have never demanded feedback on anything.
I like to think Clump’s asleep and having a very interesting dream of his own, while their pals are just standing there, not certain as to what is the appropriate course of action. Garble is still the ringleader after all.